Friday, March 25, 2005

"He Said the Medicine was in His Pee Pee"


Ummm....
PSA of the Day:

Unless your children are regular visitors at the Neverland Ranch, we recommend not taking your children here.

Don't say we didn't warn you.

(via BoingBoing)

Next Time, Do Your Own Stunts


Gallo's Pecker Not Up to Task?
This onscreen blowjob just can't get enough publicity.

It's experienced a premiere (and subsequent panning) at Cannes, it's own billboard in Hollywood, and finally, it's very own scandal!

Jacob Christner, who claims he was Gallo's stunt cock, which Chloe blew in The Brown Bunny, says he's breaking his confidentiality clause and cumming forward because he hasn't been paid yet by Gallo for his "performance". Boo hoo. :-(

Didn't get paid for having your cock smoked in a movie!?!? Hollywood - she's a cruel motherfelcher. Christner says in a press release, in perhaps the most profound statement to ever come out of Tinseltown, "I'm very disappointed. I was assured by the producers that I was gonna ride Vincent Gallo's dick all the way to Hollywood but it looks like I've gotten the shaft."

And in a related post today, Chloe Sevigny complains to the Post about actors who talk about themselves too much, "I'd rather not know so much about actors. It makes it harder for me to enjoy the characters they play."

Riiiiight.... So you might want to follow your own advice. You're making it hard for me to enjoy your character in the film in which you regurgitate some trouser snake.

Bonus points: Happen to be familiar with Christner or Gallo's unit? Feel free to see if you can tell who's dick is in Chloe's mouth. (NSFW, unless your HR dept likes blowjobs as much as well, everyone else seems to....) Let us know what you find out.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Billy Idol's Pubes Can Scour Your Pots and Pans


"It's a nice day for a ball shaving"
BREAKING NEWS:

Billy Idol shaves his grey pubes.

According to a quote in Maxim, Billy sez: "I shaved my balls - they were going grey, so I shaved them. It's like steel wool down there!"

Steel wool? Ouch. The constant shaving might be leaving his short and (grey) curlies a touch coarse. I'd suggest tweezing or waxing, but um...double ouch. Maybe he should just keep rocking the grey fuzz on his junk or hit it with some Just for Men.

That is all. You may return to your youthful appearing pubic hair-filled lives now.

Houston, We Have A Problem....Again...


Crack is Whack, but mmm...so tasty
The NY Daily News reports that our favorite crackhead-in-denial, Whitney Houston, is back in rehab.

No one should be surprised by this, nor should anyone really give a shit, but we wanted an excuse - any excuse - to post one of the greatest quotes from an interview ever (as told to Diane Sawyer on Primetime live):

"I make too much [money] for me to ever smoke crack. ... Crack is whack."

That's right baby - you stay classy girl, mmmkay?

Monday, March 21, 2005

David Spade + Penis Nose = Owen Wilson


Spade - A little cocky?
It took awhile for people to finally notice the lil' pecker that David Spade was sporting on his schnozz when hosting SNL a week and a half ago, but here it is in all it's glory.

The skit had Spade playing Owen Wilson sporting his famous dicknose. Judging from the size of the prosthetic, it appears that the mold was taken from lil' David Spade himself.

We always thought that the weird shape on Owen Wilson's beak was from a broken nose, but I guess we were wrong - it appears to be the dorsal vein from his penis proboscis.