Friday, February 25, 2005

Fred Durst Shows Off His Limp Bizkit

The fallout from Hiltongate continues. Looks like the hacker who brought us the wonderful photos from Paris' Sidekick wants to punish us by putting Fred's grainy "Oh face" on display.

It appears that either Fred Durst's cameraphone was hacked or he intentionally leaked it to revive his shitty music "career" the way all washed-up "rockers" do - by releasing a pixelated video of skank-banging.

I guess everyone in the entire world is dying to see the Limp Bizkit in action, as Gawker's server is being slammed. If you'd rather just see some stills, here you go (while it lasts). And uh, duh, the links are NSFW.

Update: Yep - we know that it wasn't really his Sidekick or a T-Mobile hacking, but rather, someone who hacked his PC. It just makes for a better story though, because imagining Fred Durst banging away with a Sidekick up to his face is funny / scary in a pathetic way. We need to go stab a soldering iron into our prefrontal cortex now.

And yes, here's another place to see Fred do it all for the nookie. Be sure to turn your volume up, as you won't want to miss a few well-placed pussy farts. You may also want to take notes on how to sweet talk your girl the Fred Durst way, with nuggets like, "Yeah, you can touch my balls and my ass." Thanks Fred, you're such a giver!

Man is he smooooove.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Some Fucked Up Cosmic Karma

The NY Post shares a tragicomic tale (in truth, it's more comedy than tragedy) of an 81-year old Buddhist monk who glued his eyes shut when he mistook Crazy Glue for Visine.

Apparently, his eyes started itching so he went to seek out some relief in the medicine cabinet. Well, some jackass had decided to store the Crazy Glue in the medicine cabinet, and our poor monk friend, Muang Angthong, who couldn't decipher the english label, just decided to squirt it in both eyes.

The upshot is that doctors were able to use an acetone solvent to pry one of his eyes open. Ouch. And also, the jackass who put the crazy glue in the medicine cabinet will be re-incarnated as a blackhead filled in-grown hair on the monk's taint in his next life.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Bushy To Receive Belgian Golden Showers

Better to be pissed off than pissed on...
While the world expresses shock and disbelief at the Hacking of Paris Hilton's Sidekick (the horror!), we take a minute to give you a pulse-check on how Bushy's European Vacation is going - and it appears to be a pisser so far.

The Belgians loves them their golden showers (as evidenced by their beloved statue of "Manneken Pis"), so perhaps Bush's visage appearing on a urinal sticker isn't such a bad thing.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Paris Hilton's Cellphone Hack = Schadenfreude For All!

Q: What do Paris Hilton's tits, a menagerie of little critters (including a skunk - WTF?!), a man in geisha-drag, a dude giving the finger, and Burt Reynolds have in common?

A: They've all posed for Paris' T-mobile Sidekick cameraphone!

And since the nice people who hacked her phone this weekend were kind enough to post some photos and some choice txt msgs, we're able to bring you this wonderful and touching collage. The joy!

For the literary-minded, Gawker has her brilliant genius captured in txt msgs here.

Here's One For The Family Album

It's going to be a "WTF?!?" week here at the Semi-regular. We can feel it. And to kick it off, here's a nice photo of a little girl and her blinking and smiling parasitic head. MSNBC reports it was removed yesterday. Good times.

Hunter S. Thompson Blows Off Own Head

Fear and Loathing in Aspen