Friday, January 21, 2005

They loves you, Bushy

You can always count on CNN to sneak in the word "Fuck" when covering politics.

A few months back, we had the dude wearing the "Fuck This Shit" t-shirt as Barack Obama chatted with Wolf Blitzer. Now, in case you missed it yesterday, here's a clip from Bushy's inauguration coronation procession, passing by a less-than-friendly part of the parade route. Halfway into it, a man can be clearly heard plaintively bleating "Fuck Bush!... Fuck Bush!". It melted our hearts and made us a little misty - God Bless America! Plus, there's something about this guy's cadence that just made us chuckle.

Hmmm...any coincidence that Michael Powell announced that he is stepping down from his FCC Chairman post today?

Thursday, January 20, 2005

VWs - not good for carbombing with


Farfigbomben
It looks like we're video clip happy at the Semi-Regular today. We came across this tasteless VW ad spoof - just the kind of thing we love here!

Bore Me has the clip, which shows just how tough the VW Polo is (must be the European equivalent of the Golf). A Yasser-ish looking dude (the checkered scarf is a dead give-away) drives up to a crowded cafe to bomb the piss out of it, but alas, the tough little VW holds it's shit and shrapnel together.

VW typically hasn't looked to kindly on these spoofs, so we'll see how long it's up, but personally, I think it's a great product demo.

Update: And there you have it. VW has leveled criminal charges against the makers of the ad. They don't fuck around...

We know how much you love your Paris Hilton news


Skank-o-rific!
Oh, the irony...someone should tell this skank to avoid video cameras.

Paris was in a WeHo (West Hollywood for you troglodytes) magazine store when she went apeshit upon seeing that they sold copies of her first feature film, the oh-so-cleverly titled 1 Night in Paris. The store security cam catches her stealing the DVD for sale as she announces that she's "taking it and not paying for it". (As corroborated by the bitchy queen who works there and was interviewed by Celebrity Justice as seen in this video clip).

Looks like the "crime footage" has been handed over to a Beverly Hills DA, so perhaps we'll be soon seeing her first lesbian film, 1 Night in Prison.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Bill Gates - One Sexy Muthafucka


Oh Bill - I'll leave my Windows open for you if you promise me I won't get a virus...
Teenage girls in the 80s may have preferred to fingerbang themselves to pictures of Scott Baio instead of Bill Gates, but I think we can all agree now that Bill's wrinkle-free slacks and his future billions of dollars give him a certain je ne sais quoi that Charles in Charge can't even touch.

Yep - these pinups of Billy G (now to be known as Microsoft Man Candy) from a circa 1983 Tiger Beat are making the rounds. Gotta love the other shot, with Bill casting a come hither look and tossing his floppy.

Extra bonus points: Notice the Mac in the background of this shot? Yeah yeah, I know, Microsoft made software for Mac, yada yada, but in light of more recent developments of the past decade, it's funny, so fuck off...

Now THAT is a serious dick hazard...

It appears that more absent-minded surgeons are leaving things in their patients these days. Lori Klinger of Danville, PA filed a lawsuit against Dr. Samuel Owusu for leaving a 4-inch metal instrument in her uterus, which she eventually passed through her woo woo after several days of pain.

Here's a re-enactment of the conversation:

Lori: Umm, you're not going to believe this.
Dr. Sam: What's that?
Lori: Well, my uteral region has been in terrible pain the past few days.
Dr. Sam: Sorry to hear it.
Lori: Ummm, well, that's not the half of it. A sharp 4-inch metal instrument emerged from my vagina today. I'm not sure if that's normal.
Dr. Sam: No kidding. Hmmm, I think I've been missing one of those.
Lori: Ummm, yeah. It hurt like a bitch. My husband could have really hurt his dick if it met the business end of that instrument if we were, well, you know...
Dr. Sam: Uh huh. Yup. Well, feel free to drop it off at our offices. They're kinda expensive you know...

And.....scene.

According to Ramona Conner, a perioperative nursing specialist with the Association of Perioperative Registered Nurses, "It's something we try very much to avoid, but it's also something that we do recognize does happen. Surgery is extremely complex these days."

OH. OK. Well, I guess it's all good then.

Here's the story via Timesleader.com

Fuck Long Distance


Tell it like it is, sister
We here at the Semi-Regular don't usually pimp products and services for free, but this one caught my eye today.

Broadband phone service is gaining momentum and there's a few players trying to establish themselves and set them apart from the big boys like AT&T and Verizon. We particularly like this ad because really, who hasn't seen their long-distance bill at sometime and wanted to tell the phone company to fuck-off? Bravo, BroadVoice! Truth in advertising at last....