Tuesday, April 19, 2005

LA, Where Even the Bums Go To the Salon...

From the city that brings you wide-eyed midwestern transplants, with bleached blonde hair and big fake tits and aspirations to suck some low rung producer's dick for a B-movie audition, comes what could only come from a retarded place like LA: The Homeless Spa / Gym / Hair Salon / Playroom.

The Christian Science Monitor (we never understood that oxymoron, and what the fuck are they monitoring anyway? Because it gives us the creeps.) has the details on Midnight Mission, which sounds like a back-alley porn video production company but in reality is a $17 million modernist, steel and glass structure equipped with a full-sized state-of-the-art gymnasium, library, playroom (wha?), hair salon, education center, and professional kitchen.

Hey - although we appear to be cold, heartless bastards, the Semi-Regular understands that progress of a society is measured by the number of institutions it has to take care of those unable to do so by themselves (or some bullshit like that...we slept through our sociology classes), but what the fuck? This makes us want to give up everything (which admittedly, is really nothing) and be homeless in LA. Sure beats sucking a dick for a dolla (so we've heard)...