Wednesday, March 16, 2005

The Tao Of Britney

The Oracle of Spears, in repose
The media has been all over the current Michael Jackson pedophile case but the one savvy media pundit who has been conspicuously absent is the sagacious Britney Spears - until now.

Like pearls of wisdom from a scholarly grandmaster, Britney proclaims to Allure magazine, "He needs someone to be like, 'OK, let's buck you up, let's give you a moustache, let's rough you up, let's go to a bar, let's get drunk and be a man.'"

Teach us more, master.

And so proclaimeth the wise barefoot sage of gas station bathrooms: "And if he didn't do those things, I feel sorry for him. Either way, he needs to get in a fight."

Your insights continue to astound us.

Apparently, the Oracle of Spears later decided that she was not pleased with the quotes attributed to her in Allure. She decreed that "...In the future, I will refrain from discussing my private life in interviews. It will be expressed solely through art".

Ahh yes, her art. Touché, Britney. Your brilliance knows no bounds.


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