Saturday, February 12, 2005

Tom Sizemore, the Whizzinator

The Whizzinator
Tom Sizemore, The Whizzinator
You can't make this shit up.

Tom Sizemore, known for smacking the shit out of people in movies and for smacking the shit out of ex-girlfriend Heidi Fleiss in real life, is now the dude in Hollywood who pees for parole officers with a piss-filled dildo.

Our boy Tommy, on parole for doing some bitch-slapping and some crank, was caught cheating on his urine test with a "prosthetic penis sewn into his boxer shorts and filled with a clean urine sample kept warm by a heating pack". WHOA - did you get all that? That is some fucking setup.

Apparently, these units are sold online, under the name....wait for it......the Wizzinator. As you can see, it comes in a variety of colors / ethnicities from white, tan, latino, brown and black, and can be loaded with "clean" freeze-dried urine and warmed up with heating packs - all of which is sewn up in a pair of tighty-whities!

The best part of the story? - and believe me, it was hard to choose - LA Deputy City Attorney Robert Cha says that this isn't the first time they've caught Sizemore pissing with the Whizzinator.

Wha!?!!?! They've caught him pissing with an elaborate fake penis setup before?!?!

Consider our minds blown.