Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Devoted Wife or Murderous Enema Fetishist?

The Houston Chronicle has a heart-rending / ass-puckering story about the tragedy (or comedy? I mean, if you really try to picture it...ok, don't) that occurred when a woman tried to help her alcoholic husband get his drink on.

Tammy Jean Wagner of Lake Jackson, TX (where?) gave her husband Michael a TWO bottle sherry enema, driving his blood-alcohol level to an asswrecking 0.47 percent (that's about 6 times the legal limit in case you were wondering or just plain dumb), thus killing the man.

You might be wondering, why get drunk via the "beer bong in the ass" approach? Because poor Mikey has a throat condition that doesn't allow him to hit the sauce the...*ahem*..more conventional way.

Officer Robert Turner, who was interviewed for the article, seemed sorta impressed at Mike's ass-chugging ability (and who wouldn't be?) "We're not talking about little bottles here," Turner said, "These were at least 1.5 liter bottles."

Wow. Gives new meaning to the phrase "being drunk off your ass".