Friday, January 28, 2005

Pissing Your Way To Freedom!

Perhaps the best news story ever - a harrowing tale of chugging beers to save one's own life:

Richard Kral, a Slovak man, was tearing ass through the Slovak Tatra mountains in his Audi, with 60 half-liter bottles of beer (natch - he's on vacation!) when he got buried under an avalanche.

Rescue teams found him four days later, drunk and stumbling around the site of the avalanche. Our boy Richard, the Slovakian MacGyver (and champion beer drinker), quickly realized that he could drink all the beers and then piss his way out of the snowy tomb he was encased in.

He explains, "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there."

Huzzah! Let this be lesson to all of you. Never, ever travel without 5 cases of beer in your back seat. Really, it's for your own safety....