Monday, October 25, 2004

Presidential Debates..For Me to Poop On

Triumph owning Begala
In this day and age when political spin doctors tell us idiots what our opinions should be (we're clearly too stupid to make our own assessments - well, actually, some of you actually are), it's nice to know that a puppet dog with the hand of a very funny guy up his ass can tell it like it is. God bless Triumph (and the brilliant hand up his ass, Robert Smigel).

Here's some of the choice exchanges from Triumph's spin through Spin Alley after the last presidential debate, as seen on Conan O'Brian last week:

With FoxNews' Greta Van Susteren, trying to stiffle a burst of laughter while trying to get away - Triumph: "Can I get Bill O'Reilly's phone number? Come on, I'll bring the vibrator! We'll sit in spinzone!"

Triumph speaking with a Bush spinster: "Bush was great tonite - I liked his strategy of replacing stuttering with stammering....Did he [Bush] really meet with the black caucus? I mean, seriously, c'mon, I mean, Bush and black voters go together like Yassir Arafat and circumcision...a lot of people think he [Bush] should appeal a lot more to women because he is a douche..."

Triumph on Kerry: "Is Kerry a flip-flopper?...oh come on, on certain issues he's tried more odd positions than a great dane trying to bang a chihuahua"

On douchebag Ralph Reed: "Ralph Reed - who used to pimp the Christian Coalition, now he reeks of Bush more than a kd lang mosh pit."

Chasing Ralph down on the issue of gay marriage: "if you're going to be against gay rights then you better take that pole out of your ass."

And finally, the zinger, with huge wuss Paul Begala: "I'm not a puppet - no self respecting man would go to an event like this and prop up a puppet, except maybe for Dick Cheney."

See the entire clip, possibly the funniest shit ever on late-nite teevee at iFilm


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