Monday, October 25, 2004

Milli Vanilli sez: "Girl You Know It's True (ooh ooh, you suck too....)

Are we supposed to be surprised by this? Ashlee Simpson, talentless younger sister of similarly untalented Jessica Simpson caught in lip-syncing fiasco on SNL this weekend.

It looks like they had queued up the same song that she had already "performed" as her first song, and she had this look like, um, what the fuck? Didn't I already just fake-sing this song like 20 minutes ago? And then the kicker - she's standing around like the sister of a retard when her vocal track starts playing.

So what do you do when you're in that situation? Dance around like you're a mildly retarded leprechaun - of course!

Best of all? At the end of the show, she has the balls to address the audience and blame her band for playing the wrong song. I don't know who the bigger loser is - Ashlee or a "band" that backs a lip-synching tart. But clearly, we're the lucky winners here. I watched the clip of her shameful "performance" multiple times, giggling gleefully.

Thank god for Tivo (and iFilm) or I would've missed this enjoyable little nugget of shame.

Who would have thought that Ashlee's pre-teen girlie fanbase would be so cynical and full of bitterness? The wrath of awkward 13-year-old girls everywhere comes raining down on our new favorite beleaguered Simpson sister, on her own website's message board, no less.

Oh, who are we kidding. We know these aren't her teary-eyed, heartbroken fans posting these diatribes, but rather, horny middle-aged men who were trying to Google an Ashlee Simpson nipple-slip, but came across this site instead.