Wednesday, October 27, 2004

...And in Future News: Alfred Beardsley Stabbed To Death

Cochran: Not guilty? Holy shit, we fucking won!
It's been about 10 years since O.J. hacked up Nicole and Ron, but sometimes even CNN goes slumming for filler and you gotta pick that low-hanging fruit.

CNN reports that Ron Goldman's family is still trying to get OJ to cough it up for using their son as an oversize pincushion and has filed papers with the LA Superior Court to have future stabbing victim Alfred Beardsley ("friend" of OJ) testify as to the Juice's financial condition.

Apparently, Beardsley, who works in real estate, may have control over some of Simpson's property.

Alfred - got some advice for you: if you really do have control over some of the Juice's property, I'd suggest that you start exercising some control over his collection of Ginsu knives, if you know what I mean...